Tomorrow marks the day of my Biological Mum’s birthday. 4th of May. After these 17 years, I had never once wished her happy birthday, nor visit her grave to give offerings, unfilial, I am.

I met my grandma alone this week. She had to pass me some stuff. Had a little chat over lunch, and suddenly I just brought up the topic of my Biological Mum, asking my grandma what did my Mum liked to eat when she’s still around. Her reply was “your mummy shui bian chi de la” directly translating it “your mum isn’t picky over food, she eats anything”. Ha, just like me. I feel that, I’ve got my Dad looks and my Biological Mum’s personality, no doubt.

Right on that moment after she told me, her expression changed. I see sadness, I can feel she’s fighting hard to control her tears. Those eyes, made me almost teared while eating, 17 years, and the pain is still there. I’ll never forget.

The above photo, was the one, and only one I’ve ever taken with my grandma for many years. She’s sick, very, taking those medicine everyday made her plump, and I can do nothing about it. I don’t want her to go, please don’t ever go.

Tears once again, flow down my eyes, Mummy, it’s for you.