I’ve been thinking alot and alot these few days. I realized people are always asking for more, maybe for the greater good. Memories? I guess that’s what she wants me to build up. But will I? or rather, can I? What will she ask of me next?

It’s never been in my blood, to hurt anyone. But somehow, I ended up hurting someone. It’s painful, and yeah, I totally know how it feels. I wasn’t proud of it, I never was. I wanna save her from drowning, but I just can’t bring myself to it. I know, it’ll only worsen the situation. So I better stay a distance, let time do what it does best in situation like this, healing wounds.

Still, I’m happy with what I have now. I wanna feel this way, if possible, forever. I’ve been thinking and kinda uncertain about my future, but I know I’ll work hard. I will work VERY hard.

You’ve been good to me. But it’s time, let’s move on.

I’m contented, for now.
(:

I know what I should do, It’s pretty obvious now.
For 20 years in my life, I’m finally, happy.

(:

Today, met baby at City hall cause she could leave earlier from work. hmm. We walked, talked and spent most of the time EATING. =X Baby ah baby *tiong tiong* ROFL.

I know it’s bad to gossip about someone or talk bad behind someone’s back. But a lady, fat (no offense) black (no offense also) wearing freaking short skirt to the extent that her butt was bout to drop out any seconds. DISGUSTING is the word. But whatever keeps them happy huh? =/

After that baby had to leave for driving lessons. Hmm..

Met Marilyn after that to visit Dionna, at first when I heard she’s in a&e I was so freaking shocked la. -_- But at least seeing she’s fine, gives me a piece of my mind. Stayed for awhile till 10.10p.m. Hope she gets well. =)

I miss you baby.

hmm.

Finally. One day passed. Sigh. Guess who I’m missing now? RACHAEL LIM YING THONG. AHHH!

Wenta Sebastian’s house, his father side place and his mother side place. I got many angbao ahhhh! xD All thanks to Sebastian for bringing me along =P After that they wanna go dblo. But I know it’s not gonna be good. I shouldn’t go clubbing no more, and I’m gonna totally cut down on it. =) Dblo was okay, but music was damn damn nice can? The DJ rocks, no doubt.

I told baby that I was suppose to go off at 1.30am, that was the usual plan. But kinda like, went back to check out O-bar cause some didn’t go before. So ended up going off at 3.30am. hmm.. But baby, I promise and swear I’ve done nothing but dance with guys for the whole night! xD There were like, 5 guys grinding me all together, twice. LOL! Ahdon, Jacki, Sebastian, Daniel and one other guy (forgot his name), they purposely push me to the middle and they happily grind me. >.> At least we had fun =P

Wonder what’s baby doing now. I miss her so so much. Sigh.

Yes I can do this all day long also. =P

I miss you so bad baby.

I hope she’s the one (:

hmm =/ this is bad

Baby don’t feel useless. You were there for me, just not in person.
next time when you’re sick I’ll definitely be there no matter what =P

I hope she’s the one.

Went out with Sebastian, Stephy and Baby.R today. Met at Heeren and both Seb and Step wenta shop happily while me and baby.R get to see them shop, cause we’re both broke! shit. AND BABY STILL WANNA TAKE NEOPRIINTT AHH! LOL. nvm as long as she’s happy (: Stephy was the big spender, bought so much freaking branded stuffs LOL. After awhile, we went to Kabuyashi (or whatever it’s spelled) and ate our dinner there. After that, shopped for a little more, and off we go, back home. Baby.R wasn’t feeling well on the gastric, hope she’s okay now. hmm.

Halfway through the day, I received an sms from someone. All I could say is, I’m happy and I hope you’ll be happy for me too. Maybe you think I’m selfish, maybe you think I don’t care. But I do. You were someone I once loved, and for that I’ll never forget you. Please, for my sake and for your own sake, give up on me. We can be good friends (: I know it hurts alot. I really do. But I’ve made my choice, I don’t know if it’s worth it. But I know it will be. Please, don’t shed anymore tears for me anymore, else I’ll just feel guilty more and more.

HHH~ Hope ya can express your feelings, and tell me everything that is bothering you etc. I really hope we don’t have to count on a 3rd party to make things better for us. No secrets and stay positive~ alright? I hope if you say yes this time, I hope it’s for real. (:

shit I need a freelance job soon. I’M BROKE SOOON AHHH! SOMEONE REFER me any design job and I’ll pay $100 Referral Fee (and yes the job has to be over $200 for sure)! No Gimmicks (:

It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever had to do, to show no emotions when you start to cry.

I’ve made up my mind, there is no turning back. Cause she’s been good to me, so she deserves better than this. I can’t let you see what you meant to me, when my hands are tied, and my heart’s not free.

It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever had to do.